Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the MyIGN Roast of Lost_In_Translation, featuring Bulltoad, Thabass, DOJNDO, LeCambrioleur, umadbroooo, and more! Ladies and gentleman, here's your host, DOJNDO!
Hello everyone and welcome to the roast. Today we've come together to celebrate a MyIGN icon. Some may know him as the mod-master general, while others simply look at him and see a musical lion. But perhaps most importantly, LiT serves as a gateway for many IGN users to communicate and meet this ever expanding community.
For such a community giant, I clearly can't do this alone. Joining me in the merriment tonight is everyone's favorite hallucinogen-addicted unicorn, umadbroooo. umad actually met his girlfriend right here on the blogs. She wasn't really interested at first, but after the millionth "horn" pic, she finally caved in and gave him a shot.
Umad is something of a guru when he's sober, leaving wise words for those of us who need them. For example, check out this quip of wisdom, which was so good it won Quote Of The Month:
"Opinions are in fact, not like assholes. Last I checked, you can't fuck an opinion.”
Umad's words are of course true, though he also admits from his own personal experience, it's not for lack of trying. And trying. And trying. I don't mean to point out the obvious, but this unicorn is seriously horny. He's like Pepe LePew on viagra.
Bulltoad is also here with us. He fancies himself a filmmaker these days, with his primary goal being to make someone cry. He could just take the bag off his head, but he always likes to do things the hard way.
Bulltoad once said, “I can't imagine what it would be like to just. . .stop thinking.” It perplexed him so much that he one day decided to become a Sony fanboy, so he could finally understand. It's been working out for him so far; there's been many a time when I've noticed he just stopped thinking. He's gotten so good at being mindless, TLC is preparing to make him an offer to star in a new reality show.
Thabass decided to join in on the fun. Thabass created his profile back in 2005. Since then he's fought hard to earn every special title IGN can give him. All Star? Yup. Moderator? Yup. This guy's so practiced at kissing IGN's ass, people think he wears brown lipstick.
Prior to signing on with us, Thabass had actually taken a sabbatical from the blogs, with his last post being in February. Basically he's been an absentee moderator, or judging from the condition of IGN's article comments, a regular moderator. He considered becoming a mod a cool way to command respect from the community. Like a hallway monitor in high school, but without the popularity.
LeCambrioleur has decided to participate as well. For those of you who don't know, LeCamb is one of IGN's foremost film experts. If it's a pretentious, unheard of indie flick that features two gay cowboys eating pudding, LeCamb's your #1 source for a review. This authority has given LeCamb a bit of an ego. I don't want to say it's out of control, but once he admitted that during sex he fantasizes about masturbating.
A lot of people wonder how LeCamb's personality came to develop. He's been caught on the record saying, “…for some reason it was only ever the adults who used to come up and talk to me stark naked.” I guess he just took their natural approach as a compliment. It also explains why I've never seen him with his pants on.
But enough of the small fries; let's talk about the mod of the hour: Lost_In_Translation. LiT created his profile in 2010, and in the past four and a half years has accrued over 3,000 followers. Shortly after he started blogging, some people on the boards began tormenting him with creatures called bunchies; they're like penis shaped giraffes. LiT wants you to think he hates them, but he doesn't. His opinion of bunchies is like umadbroooo's opinion of Miley Cryus. Sure it looks disgusting and doesn't do anything worthwhile, but at the end of the day he'd still fuck it.
Shortly after starting his blog, LiT began running the wildly successful Community Nomination, or Comm Nom. The purpose is/was to highlight some user with a small number of followers to help boost their popularity. Which is a noble idea. Of course that idea often ran the risk of being defeated early on as the early winners were among some of the community's most popular members already, such as FozzyTheGamer being the second winner of the Comm Nom almost a year after his popularity warranted a frickin' roast. That guy needed a shout out like a deaf person needs an MP3 player.
Of course you can't talk about Lost without bringing up the annual video game tournament. Once a year, LiT's blog becomes a centerpiece for all of IGN with his massive series where people vote for their favorite games, and then complain when Nintendo has too much support. Kind of like the comments on any IGN review these days, only taken WAY more seriously for no damn reason. How is this always so damn popular? It takes no effort to have a "vote for your favorite" pandering type of blog series. Thank the beards of the ancients that I don't have one of those.
At this point, you also have to acknowledge the phenomenon that is #BanLiT. If you don't know what this is, you're not alone. What matters is that someone on the boards devised a petition to have IGN ban its foremost moderator on the grounds that he sleeps on the job. If IGN was the type of place to fire someone for falling asleep on the job, they wouldn't have anyone to do their spell checking and grammar checking for their front page articles. Although now that I think about it, maybe LiT should be worried...
In all seriousness, LiT is probably the most essential follow that any new IGN user could make. He does more for new faces around here than the V.A. does for veterans (sad but true). He's always on the prowl to protect us from unsavory characters and those who wish to ruin our good time, like a mother lion protecting her cub. I don't think I can find the perfect words to describe you, so I'll just use your words instead: "You are...so...disturbing”.
That's enough of the introductions; it's time to get this show going. Our first roaster today comes to us from the Kingdom Of Unicornia. Don't worry, it's not an ebola country. The worst disease he could pass on to you is herpees (and he will for $5 after the show). Please give a warm welcome to umadbroooo everyone!
The Unicorn Skewers a Lion - It's Roasting Time!
Give it up for umadbroooo one more time everyone; I'm sure his massage therapist will be working overtime dealing with the strain he put on himself for that one.
Please give a warm welcome to our next roaster, if for no other reason than so he won't have to ask me what it feels like to get one anymore. Welcome Thabass to the stage!
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[This post will be updated with links and conversation as each roaster posts their part. Keep checking back with us to see the whole thing play out.]
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“There seems to be a vocal number of people in the world that for some reason think that sex is a dirty secret that only they know about...rather than a basic animal instinct and need.“
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Today In Music (October 27th)
Never Mind The Bollocks... by Sex Pistols released on October 27th, 1977. Also released on this day:
- Bomber by Motörhead (1979)
- To Mega Therion by Celtic Frost (1985)
- Legendary Tales by Rhapsody [of Fire] (1997)
- The Final Experiment by Ayreon (1995)
- Live by ACϟDC (1992)
- "Under Pressure" single by Queen w/ David Bowie