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An Unsettling Thanksgiving Story

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It's rare to have the immediate pieces of my mother's side of the family together, even on holidays.  So when my uncle and cousin came to Thanksgiving with their dog, an award winning show dog, we knew it would be an unusual afternoon.  My sister and her boyfriend also brought their dog, a seven month old beagle who absolutely refuses to be trained.  Both dogs are male, and though it hadn't been planned for both of them to be there, we thought it might do the beagle, Barkley, some good to be put in his place by the older and bigger Jack.  We could not possibly have foreseen what actually happened.

Jack (outside) and Barkley (inside) have a stare down through the safety of the closed door.

To put it bluntly, Jack is a gay, horny animal.  He took one look at Barkley and started humping air.  But being that both dogs are male, we let them play for a bit thinking there wouldn't be a problem.  Jack spent about ten minutes inspecting Barkley, and very clearly discovered that Barkley was a male.  This information just seemed to make Jack even hornier, because he spent the rest of the afternoon trying to mount and sex up Barkley.  Poor Barkley is still just a puppy, and has no idea what the hell this dog is doing. He knows that he doesn't like having the bigger dog on top of him, but he still tries to innocently play with Jack when he's free.

The worst of it was when Barkley had to pee.  Jack to that point had obeyed us when we told him to back off, at least in that moment, so we figured they'd be fine so long as we watched them.  Barkley at this point had discovered that hiding underneath one of the patio chairs prevented Jack from getting on top of him, but such cover would have to be abandoned if he were to relieve himself properly.  He tried his best to sneak out into the grass, but Jack spied and pounced on him like a lion hunting a gazelle.  Five times this happened, and we were unable to restrain Jack so Barkley could do his business.  Finally both dogs just escaped our grasp, and Jack got on top of Barkley.  Barkley was unable to help himself anymore, and just started peeing right then and there, and Jack finally backed off without any real damage done.  When Barkley was finished, we quickly brought him inside and left Jack to roam the backyard alone.

This worked for a little while, but young Barkley started crying at the back door after a little while, because he wanted to play with the other dog.  Even with all the horror he had already experienced, he simply didn't understand what was happening.  We did, so we just left him in.  Except for my cousin, who is only eight years old himself.  He also had no idea what Jack was really trying to do, and thought the two dogs were just playing.  He saw that Barkley wanted to play, and he decided to let him outside.  By the time we realized, it had been a few minutes, and sure enough when we raced outside Barkley was hiding under the chairs again and Jack was now getting more aggressive trying to move the chairs out of his way.

I have had dogs all my life, but I have never seen one so relentlessly horny or as blatantly gay as Jack.  My uncle said he was baffled by Jack's behavior, and said that most of the time when he's around other dogs in the shows, he ignores them completely.  But yesterday, he turned my grandmother's backyard into Oz prison for Barkley, and there is no more awkward thing to have to deal with on a family holiday than that.

Also making my day worse was the Jet's humiliating performance.  I'm undecided as to which event was worse for me.

For American bloggers, how did your thanksgiving go?  For all other bloggers, how was your Thursday?

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